The Power of Should

The Power of Should

How often do you say the words “I should”? Have you noticed how many times in a day that you say them? “I should” is part of our vernacular. With it comes great stress.

If you take the word “should” and add –ers, you get “shoulders”. When we say, mentally or verbally, that we should do something, the weight of whatever we feel we should be doing is added to our shoulders.

By becoming aware of the burdens we place upon ourselves, we can begin to relieve them. Some things take time and great effort to complete, but others, quite simply, can be released immediately.

Following is an outline for how you can start to release the “shoulds”, and how they may even be affecting you physically.

On a piece of paper, write down a common “should” statement that you often say to yourself. For example, “I should eat better”. It might be, “I should be more patient”, or be kinder to myself”.

Take a moment to think about what you’re normally doing when the “should” statement crosses your mind. Write down any time or times you can think of when the statement arises.

Now, as you are thinking about this “should” statement, scan your body from head to toes. Did your facial expression change? Do you feel a pit in your stomach? Does your body feel tight? Do you feel sad?

Write down everything you feel. By doing this, you are bringing conscious awareness to your physical and energy body. You may notice that some “shoulds” actually make you feel physically sick. I’m asking you to release the power of “shoulds” in your life; or at least as many as possible.

Now that you are more aware of the “shoulds”, what can you do to release them? I am going to share two ways with you. You may come up with your own. Do what feels right for you.

First, you can rephrase the “should” statement to a more declarative statement. For example, instead of “I should eat better”, say “I eat healthy foods and I feel great about it”. Or, “I am patient”, “I am kind to myself”, etc.

What you’re doing here is taking the wishy-washy should out of it and reinforcing in your mind that you are taking healthy steps for you.

Second, just do it! If you’re looking for a snack and you are trying to decide between an orange and potato chips, you’ll probably hear yourself say, “I should eat the orange”. When you find yourself doing this, just pick one and eat it. Take the burden and the bad feelings that often come along with “should” and just do it. You may even surprise yourself at how often you make healthier choices.

We all have enough burdens on our “should”ers. Start releasing some of that weight by just doing it!

Tish Niedzwiecki is a spiritual minister, Reiki Master/Teacher, and is host of Awakening with Soulspirational on local TV in the Wadsworth, Ohio area. You can find more information about her and her services at